Fear is one of those things that grabs ahold of my heart. My body freezes up and I can't move. I have a compartment in my brain, the place of nothingness that exists there and when I am in fear, it's like I go there and I can't speak. This fear is so gripping and horrible. I so badly want to overcome my fear but so often it keeps me small. Hidden away from the desire to do more, become more, achieve more. The price is sometimes a prison cell that I place myself in.
I believe fear is like a fast approaching storm. Blue skies were available just a few moments ago but now, the storm has swept in and caused my heart to cower in the corner of the basement of my dreams.
I asked the Lord to help me with this fear. He says that Love casts out all fear. Sometimes it's so hard for me to believe that it's true for me. Fear robs and steals. It Isolates and distracts me from the life I desire to live. From the life He has called me to live.
I signed up for a Ladies Networking Luncheon last week. I was invited by a past client of mine well over two years ago. For some reason I just could never seem to make the meetings because of some coaching commitments I had every Friday. So I finally had the calendar clear and I decided it was time to go meet with this group and connect with some new women. For those of you who have met me, or have known me for a long time, you would probably never say that I am someone who wrestles with fear. You see me as Bold and Brass. And yes that is true for me when.....I know someone who is in attendance as I love to hide behind others....
(Oh there was that one time when I was defending my rights to not pay ridiculous school fees at a new school in a new State-I met my best friend that day-when I forgot about my fear and threw a fit about the cost of school fees in Colorado-that was like almost 20 years ago now).
....but when faced with a new set of people, my true desire is to hide in the corner. I can "pretend" to be bold and brave while in front of them but it's usually a lie. I like to fake being brave, but my inner desire tends to always want to find a way to cancel. I seriously have so much anxiety coursing through my veins every time I'm attempting to do anything new.
I've been working on Trusting God more in every area of my life. I have this cute bible verse in my office that I've had on my wall for a year now. I turned my head just last week after a coaching call on a Thursday night and I really read what the sign had suggested.
Go BE GREAT! Be strong and Courageous; Do not be afraid; Do not be discouraged, for the Lord will be with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9
I was feeling fear about the meeting with the new group the next day and I decided that I would ask God to guide me on my decision to go and give me some words of encouragement. When I turned my head and saw the verse on my wall I was surprised by the last word in the verse. It says GO. I felt like God was showing me that I did not need to fear anything when HE is calling me to live my purpose. Go.
Friday morning came and I had FEAR all in my body. I shook as I pulled the car out of the drive. And then I took a few calming breathes because that is what I tell my clients to do, just breathe. Well, the breathing and quoting this verse over and over a few times brought a huge amount to Peace. But what it showed me is that instead of FEAR, Trusting in God to provide the will and the way, I could go to the meeting being STRONG and COURAGEOUS. WITHOUT FEAR. With COURAGE. I drove to the meeting and walked up to the door of the meeting place.
It was locked, the door was locked. The invite said to arrive 15 minutes early if you were "new" so that you could connect and meet people. I was the only one there!!! Yikes! I checked the invite again. Correct date and time (I once showed up for a meeting a day early-that's another story for another time). And Fear whispered.....RUN, ok it more like screamed at me but I was stuck in place, as that is what fear often does to me, Get back in your car and just go home it screamed.... and I also heard.....Do not be AFRAID.....Do not be DISCOURAGED. I decided to just wait and see what God was up to. Five minutes later another woman was walking towards me with a coffee in her hand and asked if I was there for the women's networking meeting. She was new. She was worried too that she had gotten the wrong day, wrong time. She told me that there was a part of her that told her to go home.
So as I chuckled to myself and God about my FEAR, I decided to live strong and courageous and acted like I have always known this new gal, and then the next gal showed up and I did it again. I acted like I was strong and courageous. Because I decided that God was right there with me...wherever I GO.
I'm learning to TRUST HIM. Some day's it takes a lot more coaching on HIS part to get me out the door. But I'm trusting and I'm learning.
A lot of times we allow FEAR to get in the way when we don't think that there is any other option. But I'm learning that as I practice trusting God more, He shows up. I don't beat myself up over all the days that I stay hidden. I show up today, as I am, praying and listening.
Even us Life Coaches have areas we are working on. If you are someone who struggles with FEAR, I get it. I do too. But I'm learning. I'm learning to TRUST more. I learning to walk out my faith with more courage and belief.
I love working with my clients. Many are facing unbelievable challenges. I watch these women show up with so much courage and strength. I witness them opening up to the possibilities that their perceived FEAR, is as tiny as an ant hill compared to how BIG GOD IS. I don't have all of the answers to everyone's fear. But I do know that it can be overcome.
You see, LOVE casts out all fear. God Loves us. He is working with us, walking with us. For the LORD will be with you wherever you go.
For those of you out there that choose fear sometimes, I encourage you to tell someone else about it. Allow someone else to borrow you some of their Strength and Courage today. I have done that, I have borrowed other peoples belief in me. I've borrowed someone else's Boldness. I like hanging out with other people who don't mind sharing their gifts, their strengths. It's pretty amazing. Try it! Let me know how it is going for you. And if you'd like to talk to me, I've love to listen, I also may have a few verses I'd love to share with you too. God is there with you, wherever you go.
Girl, You've Got This!!