I have had many days when I have felt stressed and have sought out comfort from the cookies in my cookie jar. I have had many days when I have not allowed any cookies to be brought into our home because I blamed the cookies for my "sugar addiction" and lack of control.
Until the day a coach asked me to tell them what the cookies represented in my life.
What lesson is the cookie revealing to me? I wanted to tell the story about how they have robbed my waistline the slender appearance I sought after, the hours of dieting and exercising in an attempt to be slimmer and how it was all the cookies fault that I could never seem to manage to lose weight and keep the weight off.
But the coach wasn't buying my excuses. So she gently asked me again, What is the lesson the cookie wants to reveal to you?
I've learned that a cookie is just a cookie and it can't rob me of anything. As a matter of fact, the cookie is a wonderful sweet treat. It's a little package of love. And it wants to remind me of childhood innocence, a time when there was less responsibilities and more playtime.
Once the light bulb finally went on, I realized that the cookie represented a deeper need inside of me to be more free, have more fun, release some of the stress I had been carrying around every day.
Going from binging on cookies and other various treats took some time to let go of. Because the cookie was not the reason for the binge. I wasn't "addicted to sugar".
I was not present enough in my life to see and hear that the cookie represented a need to let down some of my burden's, to be more free from all of the "must do's" swirling around in my mind. I wasn't having fun in my life and the cookie was calling out saying, "Hey you!!!, Isn't it about time we let go of some of this adulting today and enjoy life a little more?
And as I learn to slow down and listen to what I really need, I discover that sometimes I need a cookie, and sometimes I need a dance party. Sometimes I need to remind myself that it's my duty to show up and have a little fun. To invite innocence into my day. To giggle at silly things and let go of the belief that I am not allowed to eat cookies.
When I became more present to life, when I got out of my head and more into my heart, I was able to get more work done and have more fun too. Sometimes while eating cookies and sometimes while not eating cookies because the lesson I learned is when I am present to life, I take time to care for what I really need.
I don't need strict diet rules. I don't need to lose weight. I don't need to get more stuff done. What is really needed is a relationship with myself and others. A need to renew the relationship I have with my body and my food. I need love. I need to support my inner child, my hard working woman and my relationship with cookies.