Have you ever felt insecure in a situation you couldn’t quite explain? Recently, I sat on my couch, heart racing, feeling unsafe and insecure. As I scanned my body, I knew something was going on beneath the surface. Writing in my notes app, I started to unravel the cause of my emotional storm with a poem which I titled INSECURITY.
It all started on a drive with my husband John.
I had those silent thoughts many wives have: Why is he driving so close? Why does he curse at every bad driver? If I were in front of him, would he curse at me too? By the time we got home, my anxiety was high, and I dreaded getting back into the car for our dinner over at our friend's house the next town over.
I told myself a story that I didn’t fit in and that I’d say something ridiculous, spiraling into deeper insecurity and offend my friends whild embarrassing myself.
And it was really weird, how did I go from feeling anxiety while riding in traffic to telling myself that I shouldn't go visit my friends who I haven't seen in a long while?
Then my husband asked me to help with the dogs, and I snapped. I wanted to blame him for my stress due to the Indy 500 I had just experienced, but God gently reminded me: It’s my thoughts, not my circumstances, creating my feelings of insecurity. And my lovely brain offered that if you aren't safe in the car you are not safe going out and spending time with people too.
God reassured me that I was secure in His love. I’ve spent 55 years riding in cars without an accident—God has always kept me safe. Those friends I hadn’t seen in a long while were excited to reconnect. Judgment and fear were clouding my experience that I was looking forward to later that afternoon.
As I reflected on this, I realized that insecurity comes from old patterns that were ingrained when I was young. But the truth is, I am safe. God’s love surrounds me. When I refocus on His truth, my nervous system calms, and I can feel secure again.
It’s easy to lose sight of the truth when fear takes over. Thought work is hard, but it’s worth it because it brings us back to the truth of who God says we are: safe, loved, and secure.
God has created a safe place for me to exist, whether in a car with a speedy husband or reconnecting with old friends. And when I remember that, I can breathe easier, knowing I am secure in Christ.
Has your mind ever created stories of insecurity? How do you bring yourself back to the truth of God’s love?
Beautiful, Shel. Our minds can take us down that road to insecurity so easily. But remembering that our security comes from Christ is so important. Thanks for the reminder and sharing your wisdom. I am blessed to have you as a coach.