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Writer's pictureShel Dammann

Breaking Free: Embracing Your Unbroken Self and Navigating Life's Healing Journey


O.k. today's the day, today I'm finally gonna get my act together and make this thing happen.


How often have you said these same words? How often have you felt desperate for change?


I want to share something with you that really changed everything for me. You get to want to do something different (change) but you don't have to change anything when there is nothing wrong with you to begin with.


I know, hear me out. I have said the same thing, Shel you just don't understand. I'm really broken. I'm a total mess. I have a negative bank account. I have 100 pounds to lose. I'm miserable in my current relationships. I'm a hot mess.


NO you are not! Look, we all have things that aren't working for us, but WE are not the problem. Our identity is NOT under question.


I use this little sentence a lot when my brain is freaking out and I think I must do something right now to fix "THIS" thing that I think needs to be fixed. Here it is, I know, once again I'm going to tell you something that you aren't going to think is enough to make any real changes in your life: You aren't broken!


You are not, I repeat, YOU ARE NOT BROKEN.


There, now don't you feel a heck of a lot better? I know I sure do. Oh, I didn't at first. When I started to decide to believe that I wasn't broken, my brain offered me a complete list of all the areas of brokenness I've obtained over my life. But here's the deal. I truly, truly believe that God did not make broken me. He made me to reflect His glory. He made me for more than all of the moments I thought were brokenness.


She never seems shattered; to me, she was a breathtaking mosaic of the battles she's won.

I have this on a sign in my office. I wish I knew who came up with the brilliant statement to begin with. I'd like to thank her. It really has changed my life.


I've gone through some things. I've behaved in ways that have left me feeling ashamed, wounded and feeling like giving up. But I've never been broken. At least not in the sense that I was once taught.


In school I didn't get the best of grades, so I talked to myself as if I was broken. I'm just not smart. I can't balance the check book no matter how hard I try. I can't stick to a diet, or exercise program or journaling for 365 days like the rest of my perfect friends. I know you are out there. I've been dying to ask you how you do it. How do you do everything so perfectly?

Oh, you don't? You mean you tell yourself that you are broken too? Well, darn, now what am I supposed to do? Where will I discover the answers that lead me from broken to well, not so broken?


I decided to look to God. See I got a cut on my finger and it did this really crazy thing. It healed. Yep, just like that, after a few days I noticed it no longer hurt, a few days later it had a tiny little scab and then....it was healed. I know, amazing! It had me realizing that God created me with some amazing abilities that I didn't even know I had.


You know what else? In Genesis God Creates all these things, animals, people, mountains, rivers, oceans, the sky. He calls it good.


So why do we struggle so much with believing that we aren't broken? I know, THE FALL. Yep the fall created this separation between us and God. But He didn't leave us. He didn't even call out and say, "Hey, I decided that what I made is now no longer good." NO, He created a way for us to be reconnected to Himself through Jesus. And Jesus is without sin so His sacrifice is really solid. I mean like, no one is gonna be able to take that away.


When I discovered some of these truths I was still struggling with lots of things. But I was curious and decided to start telling myself. Hey Shel, what if......


You are not broken. You can discover a way to work some of these things out.

Now I still may struggle with some things but I no longer allow myself to think that I'm broken. Now I decide to look at the areas I'm working on in my life as little cuts that are in the process of healing.


Those relationships, oh they are improving. I can see so much beauty in how God brings people into my life. It's amazing! When I meet people now I don't see myself as broken, and in turn I don't see them as broken. From here I'm able to be more authentic and present. I have a better listening ear. I have more compassion in my heart. More forgiveness and love.


The check book, oh-I realize that it's not my gifting so I gave it over to my husband, and so far he's doing a wonderful job of keeping that thing balanced. If you don't have a husband that can help with your check book, there are wonderful app's out there and software that do a really great job of telling you where your balance is at, and you can look at it every day if you'd like.


Weight loss became a lot less about my brokenness and more about finding things, tools that work for me and my body. But the best gift I've given myself is telling myself that I'm not broken and I know there is a more loving and gentle way to lose some of the weight I've desired to lose. And here is another amazing thing, I didn't have to lose weight at all. I am not broken. My weight was not a problem. I decided to choose to make some changes to my life. Period. I didn't have to do anything to make myself fixed, or more appropriate so I could fit in to this world.


You are not broken. You can choose to change some things too. You can find some people who don't think you are broken who would love to walk along side you as you discover how to figure out what it is that you want for yourself.


You have a Heavenly Father who delights in you. That's pretty amazing. I'm so thankful for the gift of salvation He's offered. I didn't even have to do anything to earn it. Best gift ever!!

Maybe you want to give this NOT BROKEN thing a try but you don't know where to begin, just reach out and ask for help.


God's here.


I'm here.


There are a lot of really cool coaches out there in the world who would love to help you figure some of those things out. There are a lot of amazing people who want to cheer you on, stand in your corner. Who can you ask to support you as you discover that you are not broken?


Talk to me on Facebook. Or send me an email. I'd love to help you discover that you are not broken.


shel@dammgirlcoaching.com


God is here for you. I am too!


DammGirl Coaching

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